Posts Tagged ‘TV’

Regeneration X

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009

Just a quick post about the new Doctor Who - Mr Matt Smith.

There’s not much I can really add to the thousands of column inches and Internet posts that are no doubt being produced right now but I though I should thrown in my two cents…

I like the look of him - I thought I should get that out the way first. Secondly, I love the fact that he was never mentioned as a possible candidate, although I’m kind of kicking myself now that I never realised that the most likely person was someone that they had purposefully kept secret. Let’s face it, it was never going to be Catherine Zeta Jones…

While I normally find it best to ignore myself when it comes to such things, I’ve had a look back at my previous post on how I would like the next Doctor to be. So let’s compare Mr Smith to my criteria, based solely on the 2 minutes or so he was on-screen being interviewed:

1. Older - oh dear. Not only is he the youngest ever, but he’s younger than me. Weird. However, as Stephen Moffat said, he does have an old edge to him somehow, so I’ll give him half a point.

2. Spooky - he does seem to have a natural weirdness to him. One of my friends commented that he is kind of ugly, with another saying that he looks a bit like a neanderthal. Harsh. A Brother of the Bob also said that he looks like an alien. So he’s a weird, ancient, ugly alien. That’s pretty spooky and has to be worth a point, plus a couple of bonus points.

3. Acting ability - from the brief clips shown, and on the advice of The Flatmate of The Bob who actually saw the Party Animals programme that he was in, it seems that he’s very good. He was also in the History Boys in the West End so he has stage experience which seems like a good thing. Even just the way he was talking about working on the part pleased me, so I’ll give him a bonus point.

4. More serious - impossible to know until he’s done a few episodes. This is obviously going to be down to the scripts more than anything else anyway, but he does seem quite intense in his style (from the extremely limited number of clips I’ve seen). Half a point.

5. Not James Nesbitt - He’s not James Nesbitt! Huzzah! 5 points!

Which gives him a score of 11. And he’s the 11th Doctor. So I’ve scientifically proven that he’s the right choice! Genius.

Ignoring indisputable maths for a minute, ultimately the success of the 11th Doctor will come down to more than just a man himself. The scripts, the production, the music, not to mention the supporting cast, are just as important (let’s face it, the first series would have been far less good without Billy). But the Companion issue is interesting. The Brother of The Bob also pointed out that it would be a bit weird now with Captain Jack in it, with him being (or at least appearing) so much older than The Doctor. That said, it would also be weird with a younger female companion, like Rose or Martha, as they will basically be the same age. So it’s hard to know which way they’ll go on that one. Personally, I hope they have a couple of Companions like some of the previous ones had.

It’s all still rather far away though, as we won’t seem him in action for about 15 months. I should probably be giving more thought to 2009 instead of worrying about next year…

(Oh, and I realise that the title of this post would have worked much better if he was the 10th Doctor. Damn it!)

Give us this day our Daily Show

Sunday, November 2nd, 2008

Huzzah! The Daily Show is now free to view on Channel 4’s website. Click on this here link to get there, and tell them I sent you.

Actually, it’s been on 4OD for a while, but it cost £1 a show last time I checked. However, now we are all free to catch up on any episodes missed, and just in time for the election. Winner.

If you’ve never seen it before, shame on you, shame. Every episode manages to make me laugh out loud more than once, which is quite exceptional if you consider how quickly they must have to put it together. And how miserable a git I am.

To give you some background, The Daily Show (or The Daily Show with Jon Stewart as it is officially called) has been running for years in the States, 4 days a week, and is shown here in Blightly on More4 the day after it’s aired in America. It’s technically a “fake” news show, although it has been said that people who watch it tend to be more aware of what is going on in the world than those who watch real American news stations. Most of the content is about politics, although at the moment that’s not very surprising. It’s also not exactly impartial, clearly favouring Obama over McCain, but who can blame them really.

Recent political guests include Obama himself last week (see the show from 30 October from my link above), Bill Clinton, and also Tony Blair about a month ago. But don’t let the politics put you off: recent film stars to appear, just from the past month or so, include Robert De Niro, Clint Eastwood, and Steven Martin.

Ultimately it is just highly entertaining, and if you are reading this then you clearly have 22 minutes to waste online. Go! Watch! Now!

Tennant’s special

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

So David Tennant has decided to hang up his trainers and regenerate into a relative dimension of obscurity. I wasn’t thrilled by this news at first, and was originally going to call this post “God is Dead”. But that would perhaps have been a slight overreaction…

I think he’s right - as Russell T Davis and Julie Gardner are both leaving as well this seems like a good time to go, which will let Stephen Moffat have a clear run to do his own thing. There’s also the ol’ “get out-while the going is good aspect”; it would be a shame if he had done a few more series that just didn’t live up to what has gone before. Although I guess the specials still to come could be as bad as last year’s Christmas episode.

Anyway, obviously the big question is Who next? (that pun has been used before, and will be used again). My criteria for how to choose the next Doctor (purely from a personal point of preference) would be as follows:

  • Someone older - I don’t necessarily mean William Hartnell old, but just someone who is a bit less, well, young and er… hip. Someone who can’t just run about all the time. The old Doctors were always a bit more of a father-figure to his companions rather than a buddy I reckon, and it might be good to get back to this a bit. It would also remove any possibility of another romance, which would be a good thing (keep the love of Rose pure!)
  • Someone with a spooky edge - having recently watched some of the old Tom Baker episodes recently, one of the things that made him stand out was that his Doctor was a strange fellow. You feel like you never know what he’s going to do next, and there’s something about his grin that can be rather chilling. He also wasn’t that nice to all his companions the whole time, and in fact was down-right nasty to some. Crazy eyes too.
  • Someone who can act - Tennant and Ecclestone are both actual, real actors, and that give the whole thing an edge of quality that couldn’t be achieved otherwise. There’s always the slight fear that they’ll get in a familiar face, someone young, sexy, and popular, just for the sake of it. So not Russell Brand then…
  • Perhaps someone a bit more serious (within reason) who doesn’t have the constant excitable, nervous energy that both Doctors 9 and 10 had.
  • Someone who isn’t James Nesbitt.

Ultimately I just want someone who is a bit different to what has gone before. And who isn’t James Nesbitt.

The BBC Website has published a list of the top rated candidates and I may as well give them the once over. Let’s look at the front runners:

Paterson Joseph - Like it, like it a lot. He’s quite a big guy, has an awesome voice and plenty of gravitas. I reckon he could also do spooky and intense very well. Obviously there would be plenty said on the fact that he would be the first black doctor, but it surely makes no difference at all. There was talk previously of a female Doctor (can Time Lords change gender, oh geeks out there?) and even rumoured at one point that Billy was going to get the role. Nightmare! Anyway, he’s the favourite with the bookies, and I would be more than pleased if he got the job.

David Morrissey - He’s actually a bit of an unknown quantity for me. Somehow I’ve managed to avoid all the things he’s been in, but I’ve heard only good comments. So I can’t say much more until after the Christmas episode…

Sean Pertwee - I had heard all the others being mentioned before in rumour and small talk, but this one took me by surprise today. And I’m loving it. He also has a great voice (see Equilibrium for details), and great screen presence, and has a slightly mean edge to him that could be awesome. And he’s hard as nails, which would be different.

James Nesbitt - No. No no no no no no no. Seriously. No. Stop that. It’s almost unthinkable. It would just be James Nesbitt in a scarf. No. Alan Davies has been mentioned numerous times in the past and I would be just as against him too. They’re both too famous and familiar, and in every other bloody thing on TV.

Just… no.

Russell Tovey - Once again a relative unknown for me. He was good in the Christmas episode (considering how bad most of it was) but really is just too young for me to agree with.

James McAvoy - Surely he’s too busy with his Hollywood career to do Doctor Who? He also doesn’t do well against my criteria above, but he would probably be okay. I just don’t see it happening.

I’m trying to think of who I would pick, apart from either Mr Joseph or Pertwee. Well, Trevor McDonald is leaving News at Ten, and he does fall into some of my criteria… perhaps not.

Send me you thoughts and suggestion please, in the usual way.

Heroes and Villians

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

As mentioned in my previous ramble, Heroes season 3 has started. And what a great start it was - enough so that I feel the need to document my thoughts on the subject. However, this is pretty pointless for any of you, as either you watch the show and will know what happened, or don’t and therefore don’t know or care what I’m writing. So stop reading this and go and do something better instead. Like watching Heroes…

SPOILERS AHOY!! If you have any intention of watching Heroes and you haven’t seen up to Season 3, Episode 2 LOOK AWAY NOW!

Righty ho. So you’re the makers of Heroes and you want to set up the new series. What to do? Well, as every seasoned seasonal programme-maker knows, with each new year you need to up the ante. More baddie, harder to kill baddies, and the best method - make some of the goodies turn into baddies! By which I don’t mean a fight to the death between Tim Brooke-Taylor and Bill Oddie. Not that I wouldn’t watch that too…

Nope. It looks as if various of our favourite Heroes are going to turn to the dark side. They’re still trying to make Peter seem edgy and deep, but I still think he is, well, rubbish. Just because he has a scar, speaks in a slightly gravelly voice, and frowns even more than previous doesn’t make him hard. Or interesting.

The big season 2 cliffhanger was of course Nathan being gunned down, just as he was  about to reveal the truth about himself. I must admit that although I seem to feel the need to fill up the Interweb with my own cluttered thoughts about the show, I don’t actually go looking for other peoples (mainly because I don’t what to know what’s going to happen until I’m actually watching the episode). But I can imagine that there were many a comment online about who the gunman (or woman) might be over the summer break. And let’s face it, it could have been anyone at all. My guess would have been Nikki, as it would have been the most surprising. Or a Nathan from the future. Who’d have guessed? Probably lots of people actually. Okay, the least likely option was probably Molly, but that’s because she’s 10.

But no, it was Peter from the future. Great. At least Mrs Petrelli seems to be getting plenty of screen time this year, and we’ve finally been told what her power was (and it should have been obvious really). An interesting side note from this week’s broadcast that Bob’s power seemed to be turning things to gold. Not very sure what Syler is going to do with that one. (I did warn you there would be spoilers…)

Just thinking through the other characters… Claire - looking hot, all dark hair and leather, in the future, sadly still rather whinny in the present. But I have to say the scenes with her and Syler in the first episode were particularly good. As for the man himself, it’s nice to have him back properly, but I can’t help but wonder (and worry) how much he’s going to be in this year as surely Zachary Quinto has been too busy wearing pointy ears and being all logical? I’d look online, but it might spoil something…

Anyway, it seems from his actions towards Claire in the first episode, along with Mrs Petrelli’s dream in the second, that they are going to show that Sylar isn’t just “evil” for the sake of it. He just enjoy killing n’ stuff for the sake of it. Unlike the Bad People who have been released from the holding cells, who are Bad, and do Bad things, like burning people and stealing cars. Wow. And now Peter is mixed up with them and he doesn’t know WHAT to do. How about just not going with them you wet git?

Other folk: Parkman - randomly in the middle of Africa. This will obviously end up being connected more than we can guess to the main storyline, in a Hiro in Ancient Japan sort of way. We’ll just have to wait and see. And I still think Greg Grunburg is the dude and he can do whatever he wants.

Mohinder - seems to have turned into Spider-man, including the mutation storyline. Yet he’s still a bit dull, despite being superpowered and sharing all his scenes (and fluids) with a hottie. She, Maya, is even more pointless than last year, but I should probably give her time. And she’s better than…

Nikki - oh bloody hell. They brought her back from the dead. Or did they? Is she other aspect of Nikki/Jessica? Or someone else entirely? Who knows? Who cares? Nae me laddie, nae me. No sign of Mika yet, and if Monica isn’t in this year then she was officially The Most Pointless Character Ever.

Nathan - quite liking it so far, and more Linderman can’t be bad. I was also very pleased to see Bruce Boxleitner back on the box (sorry, too easy). For those of you who don’t know (ie all of you, unless Ewen is reading this) he was Commander, and latterly, President Sheridan in Babylon 5. Of all the geeky things I’ve ever watched, it is the most geeky… Anyway, he’s the guy playing the Governor in Heroes. Not the world’s greatest actor, but he’s got a certain Clinton like quality to him that makes him seem like a convincing and likable politician type. By which I mean Bill, not Hillary, by the way.

I’ve not mentioned Hero and Ando yet. Well, I always like them really, but it’s hard to get particularly interested in another Quest set by Destiny. Ando developing powers and turning evil? Could either be exciting and emotional as the two former friends battle it out, or could be the shark-jumping moment Heroes has often threatened to waterski towards (if you don’t get the rather mangled metaphor, read this). But a “formula that could destroy the world” sounds suspiciously similar to the disease that could destroy the world last time around. Is it going to be the same power-giving formula that Mohinder has developed? Probably. Will Ando turn evil? Probably not. Only time will tell (pun intended).

So, in conclusion… er… I don’t know. The first episode was great and started up some interesting storylines. The second episode just seemed to add in more questions and intrege, without actually moving the story on much. Still, there’s plenty more to come…

Who will buy?

Wednesday, September 17th, 2008

Anyone who has ever lived with me, been round to my place, or indeed had me in their house, while watching TV will know that I have a tendency to hit the mute button during the advert breaks. In fact, tendency is perhaps not a strong enough word. A compulsion, an obsession, a sine qua non if you will.

I just can’t help it. Come the quarter hour and the remote will magically appear in my hand, finger poised to silence the dire warnings of the lack of car insurance, lady products, or appropriate dog food in our sorry little lives. For me though, as I can’t drive, am not and do not possess a lady, and don’t enjoy the taste of dog food, these are unnecessary interludes.

I fear that moaning about specific ads may become a semi-regular feature on here, as they really do make me want to curl up and buy (nothing, ever again), but here are some of the adverts that have caught my eye recently…

Stella Artois: They’ve finally dropped the “Reassuringly Expensive” thing, as that only works if it actually costs more than any other beer. Which it doesn’t. It’s also not very nice. And makes you want to beat up women (allegedly) hence why it is know as “wifebeater”. Allegedly.

Their new advert features all sorts of exciting medieval/fantasy style computer graphics and people in costumes, and even has a voice over by Patrick Stewart himself, telling us that Stella is from ye olde days and is made with only the traditional ingredients of water, hops, and er… the other ones.  He even promises the excitement of some sort of online game thing. So basically, all the things that would normally draw me in. But it’s Stella. Even if Patrick Stewart came round to my house to read The Lord of the Rings to me, recreated my favourite scenes from I, Claudius, and said “Make it so” when I offered him a cup of tea, I still wouldn’t drink Stella.

Well. okay, maybe if he did all of those things. But it would have to be all three…

Hovis: This features a wee boy with something of the Oliver about him buying a loaf of ye olde breade from ye olde shoppe. But, shock horror, when he walks outside it seems to be slightly less olde. There’s a horse and cart in the street, but when he goes round the corner there’s suddenly motorcar. And then there are some World War I soldiers obviously heading off to war. And then returning (although they have too many limbs if you ask me…)

Yon boy (whose clothes have changed somewhat) turns a corner to find some ruined buildings - yes, you’ve guessed it, he’s now reached World War II. This is followed by a street party and some giggling girls (the 60s?) and then, rather strangely, he wanders between a large group of policemen facing off against a group of strikers. Is that really the best way to depict the 70s? Well, I guess it’s better than him bumping into Slade…

He eventually gets home and is all modern n’ stuff. Great. The point of the advert is that Hovis still make bread the way they used to. Which is blatantly not true. First of all, it’s hard to imagine that it’s baked by hand, otherwise half the country would have to be employed in the process. Even more so, the machines they use now are no doubt faaar more efficient and hygienic than even 20 years ago. Which is a good thing for all concerned as it keeps prices lower.

But the main thing this advert says to me is “British life in the 20th Century was just completely awful and depressing”. If these were our defining moments then I hope we manage something a bit better this century.

The thing is, it’s actually all rather impressive as an advert, and probably is quite affective and effectual for most people. I’m just ye miserable olde cynic.

To learn about the worst of them all, read this here article, which is far more eloquent than I could ever manage. What really gets me is that it’s a pretty good service that shouldn’t be too hard to advertise with just the basic facts. But these are overshadowed by the Hucknell Horror.

However, an extra note on this would be that they have followed Ginger Mick up with… Mel B. It’s got all the same problems as the previous, including a last line spoken by the bearded one himself of “Well, I spiced up her life”. Really? Is that really what you wanted to say? Really? I would have gone with something like “At least all that TV should keep her mind off having Eddie Murphy’s baby.” I’d buy that for a dollar…

Funny how?

Tuesday, July 15th, 2008

People of Britain, heed my warning! I’ve just had the misfortune of watching some of the worst TV comedy I’ve ever experienced. In fact, 2 of the worst TV comedies I’ve ever experienced. Not since that ITV sitcom, you know the one, it was on ITV and it was shite - yeah, that one - have I seen such horrifically base, uninspired, insipid, and all-round easy comedy.

The programmes in question were Since You’ve Been Gone - a Nicolas Lyndhurst vehicle in which is in its second series somehow - and Lab Rats - a new offering from BBC2. Both are “traditional” sitcoms; filmed on a set, with an audience (or at least a laughter track) and, well, a situation.

Come with me now reader as we travel back to those fateful meetings where these abortions of common taste were conceived…


[In a boardroom somewhere in London. Some Suits sit round a table]

“Right, the BBC want something new, something funny, yet something safe; different, but still appealing to a traditional BBC audience.”

“Great! Let’s make another series of My Family.”

“We are making another series of My Family. No, this has to be different. Fresh. Innovative”

“Hmmm… well, how about instead of a normal family… we do a sitcom with an dysfunctional family.”

“Yeah, like The Simpsons?”

“No no no, a weird family.”

“Yeah, like the Munsters? Or the Addams Family?”

“No, I mean, an abnormal family structure. A family that, and I realise this is a bit out there, a family that isn’t made up from a mother and father and 2 or 3 children!!!”

[A shocked silence follows...]

“You mean, there’s something odd about the family? Maybe… they’re aliens!”


“Yeah, like Third Rock from the Sun.”

“Oh. How about… 2 mums living together?”

“Yeah, like Birds of a Feather? Or 80’s US sitcom Kate and Allie?”

“Oh. Then how about… there are 2 dads living together?

“Yeah, like in 80s US sitcom My Two Dads?”

“Right, so how about one dad looking after his kids on his own?”

“Yeah, like 90s US sitcom Blossom?”

“Sure, why not. We just need something extra… a foil for the dad to bounce off…”

“His wife?”

“Interesting, but I think that’s what we started with.”

“Hmmm… how about… his wife’s mother?”

“His mother-in-law? Brilliant! We’ve got it! With the mother-in-law, the dad, and the kids there could be all sorts of humourous misunderstanding due to the generation gap. Genius! That surely hasn’t been done before?”

“Right, we’ve only got 3 minutes before our next meeting, so let’s finish this off. The main guy is an everyman to appeal to the masses, we’ll get in Nick Lyndhurst or someone. But should we make his mother-in-law nice too?”

“Hey! I’ve got a great idea - let’s make her all stuck up and snooty. That would be hilarious!

“Great! And 2 kids, a boy and a girl for balance. Let’s make him wise-cracking and a bit geeky, and her a bit moany and slutty.”

“er… isn’t that the same as My Family again?”

“Yeah, but on one will notice as they’ll be too busy laughing at all the mother-in-law jokes. Wow… I really can’t believe that no one’s thought of this before…”


[It's now 2 minutes later. The same group of Suits are sitting round a different table...]

“Right, BBC2 are looking for a new sitcom. Any ideas?”

“Well, BBC2 viewers like things that are smart, but weird…”

“How about scientist geek types? They’re smart but weird?”

“Yeah, like in The IT Crowd or The Big Bang Theory?”

“Yes. Like in them. But it’s lunchtime now so it will have to do…”

In a half-shell…

Friday, July 4th, 2008

So season 2 of Heroes finished last night on BBC2. And it was… alright really. I guess I better say at this point that if you haven’t watched seasons 1 and 2, and have any intention of doing so, look away now. SPOILERS AHEAD as they say…

Right, where was I? Ah yes, my pointless thoughts on season 2:

I quite liked the stuff with Hiro in medieval Japan. I wasn’t really sure where it was going at first (except guessing straight away that he would end up being the real Kensei) but the introduction of the always entertaining David Anders was a welcome addition. (for the record, he’s from Oregon - if you thought he was really British then shame on you, shame!) This did, of course, all come together beautifully with the big plot twist that he was (seriously, look away now) Adam. This lead him to hook up with Peter…

The best thing I can say for Petrelli jr this year was at least he had cut off that annoying fringe. But he was still a complete wet, even when kicking arse. I get that he’s meant to be like the anti-Sylar; he has all the power but doesn’t want to use it. He just wants to be a real boy. All the stuff in “Ireland” was kind of slow and just felt like another bunch of episodes featuring Milo Ventimiglia’s “confused” face. “What do you mean I’ve can heal/shoot lightning/fly/dance like Michael Jackson? ” Maybe that last one didn’t happen…

Anyway, the reason I put Ireland in brackets above wasn’t just because of the horrible stereotyping, but also because of the terrible accents. Just woeful. Now, I’m no good at doing accents at all (in fact, I’ve just bought a book to help me with that very thing, but more on that later…) but I’m not in a million-dollar-an-episode show. I don’t understand why they couldn’t get actual Irish people to play the Irish people. That must be one or two good out of work Irish actors kicking around Hollywood who would have jumped at the chance. Equally, Mohinder is played by an American and Ando by a Korean who can’t speak any Japanese. Weird.

Back to the show. Mohinder was nearly alright, considering how bad he was in the first series, and at least got his rage on a bit. I liked all the stuff with Parkman finding out about his Pa being a baddie, while trying to be a good surrogate dad to to Mollie. But then I think Greg Grunburg is the man (and if any of you are Alias fans I’m sure you do too; a factoid about Mr Grunburg - he’s in a band called “The Band from TV” with, among others, Terri Hatcher, Jesse Spencer, and Hugh Laurie!)

Nikki remained to be really pointless. I kind of hoped that Mika would somehow be involved in the main storyline as he’s a good wee actor, and has an interesting character. But Nikki remained as pointless as ever. Mika’s cousin Monica started well, but as she didn’t get involved in the main plot it was kind of hard to care. When Peter et al were trying to stop the virus from spreading it didn’t really seem to matter whether or not this one girl lived or died at that moment. Maybe I’m just heartless…

Right, this is another monster post, so I’ll summarise:

Claire/Flying boy: It got better once things turned rough, but it was a bit painful at first.

Liked the way Hiro dealt with Adam (made sense with the character, was rather amusing, and of course means that he could still be brought back if the writers feel like it);

Nathan: Didn’t actually do much, but will be sorely missed if he’s really gone (N.E.R.D. - that’s all I’m saying…)

Bob and Elle: Good additions, hopefully they’ll still be in it next year.

HRG: He’s a legend, he makes the show for me. 9.5 out of 10, with half a point deducted for the ridiculously bad overlay to make it look like he was in Minsk.

Maya: A strange one. Her power is kind of random, but it was a good new direction. And of course led to…

Sylar: When I saw the end of season 1 I was slightly disappointed they went for the Sylar surviving plot. I thought they had done all they needed to do with him, and that a new villain would have been good. But I was, of course, entirely wrong. Next season should be a hoot if he’s just going about causing trouble again. Zachary Quinto should be an awesome Spock too.

One final point to consider: Peter wanted to stop the spread of the virus to save Caitlin. But she was still in that future when he stopped Adam. So my question is this: was she magically transported back to her present when Peter changed the time-line, or was she still there in what was now an alternative future to Peter’s? If that’s the case then neither he nor Hiro would be able to go forward in time to save her. Or was she still a year ahead but in what would become Peter’s future?

Mmmm… confusing time-travel geekery.

Ball ball ball, footy footy footy…

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

Well, Euro 2008 has just finished. I’m not much of a football fan throughout the year (although it’s difficult to avoid in Glasgow), but I always get quite into the World Cup and European Championships. And let’s face it, this has been a particularly good one. I was supporting Holland, and so especially enjoyed their games against France and Italy, but there were lots of good matches and moments. I really don’t need to go on about the actual quality of the football too much though; if you were watching tonight (on the BBC) then you will have heard all the pundits going on about it (and they probably know a little more than me about the game…) As about 3 of them said, the real winner was Football.  Plenty of great goals, only 3 red cards in the whole tournament, few controversial refereeing moments, and some ridiculously close games, and the winning team entirely deserved it.

Of course, with no British teams involved, the TV companies have to work slightly harder to keep the viewers interested. Unfortunately this tends to lead to them trying to connect anything that happens to an English club team. Just tonight, Motty was going on about how this was a great moment if you were from Madrid, Barcelona etc and Liverpool! All because the guy who scored the winning goal (Torres) plays for said club team at this moment. In fact, at the moment Spain lifted the trophy, I wonder if Torres would even have been able to say where the hell he played during the rest of the year…

There was also one of the Dutch goals where Motty said “well you could say that that goal was set up by Chelsea and scored by Liverpool”.* No, actually it was set up by Holland and scored by Holland. Grrr. I understand mentioning it a bit, but it’s like trying to take credit where credit is not at all due.

* I might not have the right teams here, but I really don’t care.

Another odd thing - despite the fact that there were no English-speaking nations involved and despite being held in Switzerland and Austria, which between them have 4 major languages (German, French, Italian, and Romansch), everything was done in English. First of all, all the strips had the word “Respect” on them, which was part of a fair play campaign (which seemed to work pretty well it has to be said). Also, from what I could tell, the tannoy announcements were done in english first and then in those of the 2 countries playing. Even a certain rather well known Scottish-sounding fast-food chain had their slogan in, well American I guess (roughly translated into English it means “I am feeling amourous towards this specific thing”.

I wonder how the rest of Europe feels about all this. I guess a lot of them don’t mind, but imagine what the reaction would have been like if at Euro 96 (held in England if you didn’t know) the organisers had been told that as the majority of the teams attending spoke (for arguements sake) German, that everything had to be  auf Deutsch? The tabloid headline write themselves…

Anyway, those are my football thoughts over for another 2 years. No doubt I’ll have so equally half-baked Wimbledon-based words to share before the week is out (Come on Tim!)

(5 points for those who get the reference in the title of this post)

TV highlight of last week

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

I was off work last Tuesday due to copious vomiting (less of that later…) and, as one does when ill, I started watching random daytime TV. I was careful to avoid the more horrific side of this genre, (specifically Jeremy Kyle. the most hideous show since Kilroy got from exiled from Tellyland), and looked about for some comfort TV. I enjoyed a couple of episodes of Third Rock from the Sun, and that episode of Quantum Leap in which Sam is a frat-boy called Wild Thing and has to stop some anti-Vietnam protesters from setting off a bomb. Class.

However, the best thing I saw was, surprisingly, on Loose Women. Now I’m hardly the target audience for this show, being a man and er… let’s not finish that thought; there’s no way it can end well. Anyhoo, I was flicking around and found that the legendary Joan Rivers was being interviewed about her Oscar red-carpet duties.

The moment I saw that she was on a day-time TV show alarm bells starting ringing in my head. I’m sure she’s done a lot of TV (being slightly older than time itself) but she strikes me as someone who really doesn’t really care about little things like the watershed. And how right I was. She was talking about how she can’t really speak her mind about the stars she meets. While talking about Russell Crowe she said “get ready to bleep this” and then called him “a fucking shit”.

What a lady, but oh dear. Being British TV there was no bleep button ready, and no delay. So Ms Rivers opinion went out across the nation in it’s full, glorious Technicolor. The presenters immediately apologised, as did Joan herself, but it really was too late.

However, being that the audience figures at the time were probably not exactly huge, I wonder how many complaints were received. The incident was reported on the BBC News, but no mention of complaints as far as I saw. On the other hand, Ms Rivers was actually removed from the set during the next ad break. Awesome. I bet she still doesn’t care.

The whole thing must be on YouTube by now… yup, see it here

This does leaves me pondering 2 things. Who actually complains about things like this? I can see why some people (like those who might have had small children in the room at the time) would be upset, but what difference would the complaint actually make after the event? It was Joan Rivers who said it, and she’s hardly going to personally apologise…

On the other hand, why do these live shows not go out with at least a 10 second delay? Not just for swearing purposes, but there must be occasional slip that they would rather cover up. The best known example of this is perhaps Shaun Ryder on TFI Friday, swearing repeatedly even when reminded not to on a number of occasions by Chris Evans. But let’s face it, the Ginger One and friends probably wanted the publicity and it must have helped rather than hindered viewing figures. And if you don’t like that sort of thing then you shouldn’t be watching TFI Friday in the first place.

One example when the lack of delay is just weird was Live8. Madonna, assumedly having been told to keep it clean, decided to scream the f word at around 7 o’clock. Now, Mrs Richie should really have known better, but surely the BBC should have been ready for something like this? However, let us not forget that this was the same concert in which someone thought it was a good idea to have Snoop Dogg sing his title song around 6pm. If you aren’t familiar with the lyrics, the chorus goes along the lines of: “Snoop Doggy Dogg; what’s my mother-fucking name” repeated a few times over. Wow, that’s some great programming, Mr Concert Organiser Person (if that is your real name).

My personal favourite piece of pre-watershed swearing, and this is the last one I promise, was when Slash was on CD:UK a number of years ago. Once again, whose great idea was this? Okay, let him play but surely they must have realised that his chat wasn’t going to be exactly kiddy-friendly. Anyway, Cat Deeley started asking the usual pointless questions about his band/latest song etc, and Mr Slash dropped in a few rude words here and there. I have to say that they were such a natural part of his speech that I barely noticed, and he doesn’t exactly announciate his words (that might be the most British thing I’ve ever said…)

However, from some stupid, STUPID reason, Cat asked him “what’s the most rock n’ roll thing that’s ever happened to you?” Now considering who she was asking, they got off kind of lightly. Slash’s reply was “Well, I was in this bar one time and this girl came up to me and just started giving me a blow…” at which point Cat interrupted. Quick cut to Ant and/or Dec after the interview to apologise, rather red-faced…

Deeley never worked in this town again. But only because she went off to make more money in the States. Dang.